Should You Stop Taking Your Daughter to Pitching Lessons?
Here are some questions I hear a lot, both in person and online, usually in reference to young pitchers between the ages of 8 and 11: How far along should my daughter be right now? My daughter isn’t doing as well as her peers; is she hopeless? Do you think she has what it takes? Should we quit pitching? The vast majority of the time, these sorts of questions come from very overanxious parents. Before you make a snap judgement about your daughter’s future as a pitcher, take into account these tips that I’m going to share with you today.
When NOT to Judge Your Daughter Based on Ability
In the following scenarios, we’re going to assume the kid in question has a strong desire to pitch and a good work ethic. The main thing to keep in mind if you have a daughter who is learning to pitch is that EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT. I’ve had students who appeared extremely unathletic and uncoordinated and who struggled mightily with pitching for a full 2 or 3 years, only to suddenly click as they grew into their bodies around age 12 or 13. Some of them have become my most accomplished students. Conversely, I’ve seen 9 year old prodigies completely flame out around age 13. The point is, you never know how a kid will develop physically, or when the mental understanding of pitching will click for her.
If your daughter is practicing and working hard, you NEVER want to judge her ability if…
- She has been pitching for less than 2 years (ESPECIALLY one year or less), no matter how old she is. Windmill pitching can take a long time to “get.”
- She is pre-adolescent. If your 9-year-old doesn’t seem to be getting it, guess what: she has most 9-year-olds in the world for company. If a girl’s coordination and physical stature are underdeveloped, you can’t make the most fair assessment of her athletic skills.
- You’re making assumptions about what her progress SHOULD be based on another pitcher’s performance. Again, everyone is different, and if your daughter is working hard and practicing consistently, she’s exactly where she needs to be.
It’s ALWAYS OK to Judge Your Daughter Based on Commitment.
While it may be inappropriate to judge a pitcher’s performance early in her development, it’s ALWAYS appropriate to judge her desire. Learning to pitch, like learning any skill, is a major commitment of time and financial resources, and I know that’s not so easy for everyone. Your daughter should be bugging you to practice, finding ways to work on her own if no one is available to catch for her, and showing enthusiasm about pitching in general.
It might be time to call it quits if…
- Getting your daughter to practice is like pulling teeth
- It seems like she’s pitching for you and not for herself
- She’s miserable during lessons, regardless of her ability
Parents, please don’t freak out if your 10-year-old isn’t Jennie Finch. If she’s committed, give it some time—a good deal of time, really— to play out.
Carly,
Hi. My daughter is pretty decent. Loves pitching and has a pitching coach. Hurt her groin on push/drag leg. I see her drag is very heavy, sometimes digging a big hole in front of rubber. How do we fix this? She is getting interest from schools and I tell her we need to fix drag leg perhaps she might get faster if her drag isn’t so heavy. Don’t want her hurting anymore. Thanks.
Rick
Hi Rick! I noticed you asked similar questions on two posts, so I’m just going to give you an all-encompassing response here to keep it simple.
The “anchor drag” is a very common problem. The key is to make sure her back leg is fully extended and only her big toe area is grazing the ground with her knee pointed toward the catcher as she drives through. Based on your description, I’m guessing she’s dragging part (if not all) of the side of her foot — where is the wear in her cleats? I’m also guessing her knee is pointed out to the side, and her back leg may be somewhat collapsed rather than fully extended. Some of this may stem from her push foot turning out to the side before she pushes off.
If this diagnosis is correct, check out this post (https://www.fastpitchpower.com/pitching-drills-for-smoother-drive-through/). It gives a basic overview of drive through problems, links to several other helpful posts and videos that you should take a look at, and has a drill at the bottom your daughter can do to help fix it.
If she’s turning her foot prior to pushing off, it’s probably because she has a core/hip weakness that is making it difficult for her to track her body, so she’s subconsciously trying to make it easier. This post (https://www.fastpitchpower.com/exercises-that-correct-drive-foot-turn-out/) has some exercises she can do strengthen that specific area.
Let us know if you have any other questions!
My 11 year old pitches fairly well. She has a horrible leaning problem. I almost feel like its an unbreakable habit along with this things she does kicking outward from her body rather than power driving towards??? Please help!!!!
Hi Heather,
It’s impossible for us to tell what the root of the problem is without video analysis, but you can try having her pitch next to a wall or fence like this: https://www.fastpitchpower.com/wall-drills-for-improved-pitching-mechanics/ Having the wall there to line you up helps fix a lot of different alignment problems, including leaning and not driving straight. Hope that helps.
My daughter does not like to pitch but she has some experience and is very athletic. If she wanted to to work to be a pitcher she could be good at it but she doesn’t want to. She likes playing shortstop. However her team doesn’t have any experienced pitchers and her coach is making her pitch. What can I tell her to motivate her to practice pitching? She loves the sport and is eager to do batting practice or fielding, but she says she doesn’t want to practice pitching because she doesn’t want to be a pitcher.
Carla, this might not be the answer you want, but the most important thing is that your daughter is enjoying softball. Becoming a successful pitcher takes a tremendous amount of dedication and practice, and if she isn’t going to enjoy that she simply shouldn’t do it. If this is a rec or travel team, I would recommend having a conversation with the coach, and if he/she continues to force her to pitch, find another team. If this is a school team she should still talk to the coach, but if he/she continues to force her to pitch and she has no choice about playing on another team, she needs to ask herself if she would be willing to sacrifice a little and pitch sometimes so she can continue playing softball. If it’s not worth it to her, she can always focus on her travel team instead of her school team.
Hi Carly,
My daughter is 11 and just started her 2nd season of softball. Good athlete (captain of soccer team, great golfer, and good pitcher). She tried pitching last season and did quite well in rec. I have had her with best pitching coach in our area doing 1 lesson per week. She still wants to play softball but wants to stop lessons and she is so close to being great and if we take her out she is not going to pitch well in her rec league as she gets no instruction in rec league. Don’t want to be crazy dad but what should of I do…definitely don’t want to force her out of game. Thanks.
Hi Nic, being a pitcher takes an extreme amount of practice and commitment, and it will never work out if your daughter doesn’t have the desire to put in the work. However, that’s 100% ok! There are 9 positions on the field and they are all equally important. There is no reason why she can’t keep playing and enjoying softball but just focus her energy away from pitching. It’s even fine to pitch just for fun in rec. Now if she really wants to be a pitcher it might be better to have a conversation with her about sticking with the lessons, but if she only wants to play regardless of the position I wouldn’t worry about it.
My daughter just turned 12 and has been pitching for roughly a year and a half. Her problem is she is closing a little to early and pulling her lead shoulder out. What are some drills to help correct this?
Check out one of our posts on wall work, doing this with the wall on both the pitching arm side and the glove side can work wonders for these kinds of issues. https://www.fastpitchpower.com/wonders-wall-work/
Hi my daughter is 11 and she started taking pitching lessons when she was 9 she pitched for a year and she was ok but because of some really rude parents in rec she stopped. She came to me last spring and said she was to start again and I said ok but not to tell anyone because it would help her emotionally so that the kids and parents would not make as many comments to her she has been pitching consistently for a year now and we just started our rec season she pitched in our first game and did ok she gets very nervous with batters but still wants to practice all the time. She has such a big heart but she is also the target of a lot of bullying because she is a little on the bigger side. If she could just take her emotions and put them aside and not care she would do great. She is always worried because we coach the rec team and have for 5 years and her friends get nasty and do not talk to her if she does not pitch perfect. I am worried that all the pressure and comments are going to send her packing again and she is great when shes at pitching practice and with me its when she is with her peers that she loses it.
Hey Melissa, that’s definitely a tough situation but I think the positive aspect is she asks you to practice, which shows that it’s something she really wants to do. I would try your best to treat the bullying as a separate issue from pitching, because even though to her it seems directly related to pitching it really could happen in any situation, and don’t let it stop her from doing something she enjoys.